I’ve noticed that many faithful Catholic singles want to take matrimony really seriously. I’m glad of that. And one of the best ways to take matrimony seriously is to take initial steps in dating much less seriously, especially the act of showing interest. These steps are meant to be light, playful, and organic, and maybe as a result of over-reliance on dating apps, they tend to be skipped in real-time encounters.
If you are Catholic, single, and interested in finding a spouse, there are maybe four things to bear in mind:
- Be Interesting. Live like your life is worth living and sharing, if you are interested in the business of multiplying life;
- Be Interested. Clear your mind and heart of clutter so you can be sensitive to the true, good, and beautiful qualities of those around you (i.e., how they speak, how they act, and how they look);
- Show Interest. In light, playful, organic ways, take a minute to express your interest through words, gestures, or deeds, making sure that if anyone asks why you’re doing what you’re doing, you’re unabashedly okay with saying you’re showing interest in a particular person. This phase of a relationship is typically short–maybe as short as a first encounter or over the course of a few encounters, no longer, because it should be enough to find out their response;
- Note Interest. If they’re also interested, they will either show it through words or deeds or in how they receive your interest.
The first bullet point may be the work of weeks or months to receive formation, encouragement, and to develop habits of virtue. But the other three are the short little playful dances of the first preliminaries of dating.
Matrimony is a serious business, and is made all the more sweet by finding someone who can be as playfully present to you as you are to them.